Villains Never Die by Nick DeWolf

Author:Nick DeWolf [DeWolf, Nick]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Superheroes | Supervillains
Publisher: Vintage City Publishing
Published: 2019-01-22T05:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

THE HOMECOMING PARTY

Well, shitballs.

I'm dead.

Not sure how it happened. Maybe Annie drove my car into a telephone pole. I bet she felt really guilty after, you know, punching me in the damn face.

Wait! Maybe that's what did it. Parker, poor stupid Parker, used to go on and on about how, if you hit someone's nose just right, you can push cartilage up into their brain. I would tell him he was watching too much anime. Then he'd ask me if I had another way to 'occupy his time'. Then I'd punch his arm, just hard enough that the answer was no, but just soft enough to keep him thinking that the answer may one day be yes.

God, I was such a bitch to him.

And now he's dead.

And so am I.

I am one hundred percent sure I'm dead because I can't really feel my body, and all I can see is a soft, glowing white; like a solid cloud has descended down upon me. Never really thought about that whole heaven and hell thing, but gotta admit, kinda surprised I ended up going to the good place. Or maybe this is purgatory? I mean, there aren't any demons trying to shove a pineapple up my ass, so I guess I can't complain.

Alright, time to do the whole 'go toward the light' thing.

Ow.

OW!

What the actual shit?

My head, ohh man, that... that hurts. Pain all over the place. I didn't even know I was lying down, but I am now more than acutely aware of the fact I am not, in fact, dead. Because dead people don't feel like they're waking up hung over from a two-day rave.

My teeth hurt. She hit me so hard, my damn teeth hurt. I swear to god, she better not have knocked any of them loose. I had braces for three years when I was a kid and I will kick her ass if I need any major dental work.

I mean, with words. I will kick her ass with words. Because, you know, she's got superpowers and all.

I manage to pry my eyes open long enough to see that white haze again. Only now, the pain has made my vision oh so clear and I realize it's just a white plaster ceiling and somewhere there's a standing lamp illuminating it.

Wait a minute... I know that ceiling.

Oh crap. I'm home.

This is, literally, the opposite of where I told Annie to take me. Granted, we argued and, granted, she did kinda win by knocking me unconscious. But still...

Dead would be so much easier right now. Dead would mean all this bullshit I've been putting up with would be over. Yes, Annie would be in trouble, and that sucks for her. But considering how ridiculously screwed up everything is right now, that was kind of unavoidable.

I'm not really the crying type. I'm a screaming-yelling-slamming-doors-trashing-my-room-maybe-go-kinda-catatonic-for-a-while type person. I don't like crying, and I only do it when things are way, way beyond boned.

So when I feel those cold, wet drops rolling down the sides of my face, I tell myself it's just from the physical pain.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.